There Is Only One Standard

So my family was hit with the stomach bug. Ok not "family" - just Avery and me. She got hers in my car...on the drive home from Wichita Falls...with nowhere to pull over. And it didn't just happen once, but several times. Pretty sure I got that cleaned up (after hours of trying with toothbrush in hand) and a couple days later it happened again. That's when we decided it was time for a new car seat. The throw up one would move to Rustin's car as a spare (haha sucker!).

I decided I wanted something different this time and started researching. It being right after Christmas, we didn't have a ton of extra money to spend on this unplanned expense. I've heard for a while this one brand was good so I decided on that, but got one of the lower levels. Then I started reading reviews on Amazon and panic set in...

People were complaining about the one I bought saying their kid's booty started hurting on long road trips because the padding wasn't thick enough.

OH GOOD LORD!! My child was going to have a hurt booty every time we go to Wichita Falls?! What kind of a mother am I?? Should I have put my family in financial ruin (ok being a little dramatic...) to get the top of the line car seat even if it was hundreds more so she could be more comfortable??

Then I read something about it not having some safety feature the expensive ones have. So what if we get in a car wreck? Is my seat not safe?? Why are they selling it then? Are only the super expensive ones safe? Should I just sit her on my lap in the front seat? Is this basically the same thing??

Seriously these thoughts went through my mind. But now that I am a seasoned mother, (you know, I've been doing it for two years, so I am a pro now) I recognized these emotions. I fought this fight early in Avery's life against the constant mom-comparing and mom-guilt. Back then I would have stressed, researched, and basically felt like a failure as a mother. But not this time.

Although it's a constant battle and so much a part of our culture (commercials even play on this) I decided to not compare myself or feel bad about my decision because I started thinking... when I was little (and definitely when my parents were little) car seats were more of a suggestion. I never buckled up on our yearly road trip to Florida. Helloooo...that would have disrupted my sleeping position in the very back seat of my parents' minivan (and would have made it very hard for my brother and I to head-bang at passing cars).

But what about before cars... How did kids get around? Horse drawn carriage with wooden seats? Horse? Mule? Were they comfortable? No one cared! And miraculously they lived.

I was talking about this with a woman older and much wiser than me. Her and her husband lived in South America for many years as missionaries, and said that there they aren't concerned about safety (much less kids' comfort in seats!) because daily life was so hard. They were just surviving. Rustin also told me how when he was in India they all drove those motorized scooters and he saw a man driving with a woman on the back holding her baby.

He didn't get a picture of it, but this will give you an idea:

The mom-comparing game is dangerous one. Not only can it kill you inside with the constant taunt of "you are not a good mom," but it can cause you to kill others inside who don't abide by "your way" of mothering.

The same woman I mentioned earlier said something that stuck with me: There is only one standard and it is contained in the Word of God. And this may come as a shock to some of you who think your way of doing things is gospel (pardon the pun) but the Bible doesn't set apart one thing as holy over another: breastfeeding vs. formula, staying home vs. working, home school vs. public school, expensive car seat vs. "normal" one, etc.

I know that God allowed me to be Avery's mom, not because I would be a perfect parent (if I was, then why would she need a Savior?) but because I am the best mom for her. And I know He will give Rustin and I wisdom for parenting her, and our wisdom may be different from what God gives you, but that doesn't make it wrong.

I pray that I continually try strive to live up to the only Standard that matters, and that I would guard myself against making judgments on others.