Here are a few pictures of her lately. First is one of her in her bumbo chair. She looks like she's about to say something very important.
I've been reading the Llama Llama books to her and my mom got her her own Llama. She loves him, even though he's as big as her!
Then we did her 4 month photo shoot -
She can sort of sit up now so I took one of those too -
Well I can't post without saying something about her sleeping schedule (or lack thereof). I feel like I always have to add this disclaimer - this may be boring if you aren't going through this right now, but I wanted to write about it to maybe help someone else. I have loved my friends telling me what their baby was doing at this time and what worked for them.
When she basically wasn't sleeping at all and had colic bad I kept comforting myself with the fact that it's supposed to end at 3 months. Also, according to Happiest Baby on the Block, they were supposed to be done with the "4th trimester" and not need the things to recreate the womb and calm them like swaddling and swinging. So I guess I just had this expectation that 3 months would hit and she magically wouldn't cry anymore and start sleeping great. Well nothing changed. Then I was reading more stuff and it seemed that it sometimes takes babies to 4 months. So I thought ok, I can make it to 4 months. Well 4 months came and still no change, so I was pretty discouraged.
I was very concerned with her sleep because it directly affected me! I've always needed a lot of sleep. I used to say that sort of tongue-in-cheek knowing it was probably just an excuse for me being lazy, but I really think it's true. Some kids sleep more than others, so why would that not follow you into adulthood? When I started kindergarten, I was still taking a nap. My mom was worried about how I'd do. I guess I got through it, but even through my career, I wanted a nap. When I was teaching I would leave early and take work home so I could do it later, but I needed a nap first! Left to my own schedule in the summers, I would sleep 10-11 hours every night. That's just my natural rhythm. So to be sleep deprived for months was really hard for me, and I was desperate for a solution!
The book I LOVE (and I think have memorized now) - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - said that at 4 months you can start letting them cry it out. I was against cry it out. I didn't want to do it. But I tried EVERYTHING else. In fact, I think I researched too much. There are so many different theories out there, and I was driving myself crazy reading the pros and cons of everything. I finally decided to pick just ONE method and stick to it, and I chose that book. I feel like the author is very middle of the road, and he's a doctor. A few of the other sleep books are written by people with no medical background or education on sleep disorders, and I'm wary of those. I just knew that Avery wasn't sleeping and neither was I, so for her own good something had to be done. The book said something about how you're not making her cry, you're allowing her to cry. I know as she's growing up there will be many times like this. When she gets older and wants to eat candy for breakfast or something, I may have to allow her to cry, but my decision is for her own good.
There were several sleep problems I needed to tackle. First, she was still sleeping swaddled in her swing. Also her bedtime was WAY too late (10-12pm), and her naps were only 20 minutes. I decided to keep everything the same (swing, swaddle, etc) and work on her bedtime first. With the guidance and encouragement of a couple of friends (Sarah and April) I decided to put her to bed when I knew she was tired and needed to sleep and allow her to cry if needed. I fed her right before putting her down, made sure she had a clean diaper with diaper cream on, and was burped. I knew all of her needs were met and all she needed was sleep. Letting her cry was the hardest thing I've ever done. The first 2 nights she cried on/off for an hour. I wanted to go get her so bad. But after that she only cried about 20 mins and the last few nights she hasn't cried hardly at all. I hesitate to write anything like that because I feel like when I do, the next night she regresses, but for now she's doing ok with bedtime.
My next task is to get her out of the swing and to the crib. I've just started it today and I'm nervous, but I need to do it. Next I want to work on her naps, but the book says they may not be regular until 5 months. But I have reduced the amount of time I was soothing her. I was holding her and bouncing on an exercise ball (she wouldn't even let me rock her) forever. As she got heavier, I physically couldn't do it anymore. Now I bounce her for just a few minutes (less than 5), sing to her and put her down drowsy but awake. The first few times she cried for about 15-20 minutes. Now she may cry right when I put her down, but then stops about 5 seconds later and goes to sleep. She doesn't stay asleep as long as I'd like, but at least I'm not killing myself getting her down anymore.
I've kept a log of her sleep/eat times for 2.5 months now to look for patterns. Her "schedule" was all over the place, so there aren't many patterns yet, but it is helpful to go back and see if she's improving. I'm glad that I have it and will be able to refer to it when I have another little one.
I could go on and on but I'll stop there. If I could go back I wouldn't have researched so much. There are so many people with different opinions, especially if you look on the discussion boards on babycenter, etc. Then you start trying all these new ideas and it doesn't work because you're not consistent. I would have just read the Healthy Sleep Habits book and stuck with it. Hopefully things will get better and maybe I'll be a pro when it's time for the second baby!
Sounds like you are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteBrock is almost two and his bed time routine stays very consistent and for the most part is very easy now. But there are still time when we still have to let him cry it out. It really helps. I will sometimes watch him on the monitor at night if he wakes up. He sits there wondering what to do, maybe cries a little, then usually lays back down and goes right back to sleep. I sometimes think back to when he was really tiny and when I would hear him cry in the night I would literally run to his bedroom. I can't imagine doing that now unless I knew he was sick.
We all get good consistent sleep now. Avery will get there too!
One more piece of unsolicited advice :) Get a crib toy that attaches to the bed. Brock has one and it is wonderful! His lights up and plays music and has a monkey that moves back and forth. Avery is a little small, but Brock loves to turn it on himself and fall asleep to it. Even in the middle of the night I sometimes here it on the monitor. But that's a lot better than hearing crying all night! It may not work for her, but it's great for us :)
Good luck! She's so pretty!
Thanks Deborah! It's a good reminder that this is a phase and she won't be little long, it's just hard to remember when you're in it :)
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of crib toy is it? That sounds like something Avery would love! She has her mobile now, but I know I'm supposed to take it down when she can grab it, so I'll need something else!
Hi Sam! I totally relate to this post. It is so frustrating that there isn't just a set way to solve Avery's sleep problems. I, too, have done more googling than I thought possible to identify what we could do to have a more consistent schedule. And I have discovered that there isn't just one answer. Anyway, your post was reassuring that I'm not the only one going through this. Blake is all over the place when it comes to napping/sleeping. Our girls are happy and healthy and that's what is important. We will look back on this and wonder why we worried so much!!
ReplyDeletePaige! That makes me feel better :) Always glad to know I'm not the only one. Your little girl is PRECIOUS!
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