The Hobbit and the Velveteen Rabbit

I've been a little sad and introspective after Christmas this year. I think several things happened together to make me feel this way.

Every year on Christmas I get a little sad that it's not magical like it was when I was a little kid. I remember waiting ALL year for Christmas. We would make these rings out of paper and take one off each day until Christmas and it seemed like an eternity. I would beg my parents for weeks to let me open just ONE present. Colby and I would always sleep in the same room and take turns waking each other up during the night to see if Santa had come yet.

Then you get older and it loses its magic. Of course part of it is lost when you discover the truth about Santa. But then also you start asking for more expensive presents so you really only get a few and you know what they are. Also when you're older, you can go and buy yourself something whenever you want (to some extent). You don't have that freedom when you're a kid, so you HAVE to wait until Christmas (or your birthday) to get that really cool toy.
(Yes, yes the point of Christmas isn't what toys you get, but that isn't the direction I'm going with this post.)

As I went to bed on Dec. 24 with no real anticipation for the next day, it made me a little sad.

So I was already feeling this way then one of Avery's presents came in the mail. I ordered The Velveteen Rabbit for her. Each Christmas I get her a book that I love and Rustin and I sign and date it, so when she's older she'll have a collection of great books representing each of her Christmases. Last year we got her The Polar Express.

Anyway that is one of the books that always makes me cry a little - especially this part.

“Weeks passed, and the little Rabbit grew very old and shabby, but the Boy loved him just as much. He loved him so hard that he loved all his whiskers off, and the pink lining to his ears turned grey, and his brown spots faded. He even began to lose his shape, and he scarcely looked like a rabbit any more, except to the Boy. To him he was always beautiful, and that was all that the little Rabbit cared about. He didn't mind how he looked to other people, because the nursery magic had made him Real, and when you are Real shabbiness doesn't matter.” 

 I guess it just reminded me of when I was little and had stuffed animals and truly loved them. Loved them so much that I really felt like they were my friends and whenever I went somewhere they couldn't be left behind.

And then.... I went to see The Hobbit. I LOVE The Lord of the Rings movies so I have been anxiously awaiting this one. Well it was great - as expected - and sort of took me back to being little. I was all caught up in the make believe world. But then it made it even harder to come back to real life.

So it got me thinking - what is that inner longing for our childhood? Since God made us, He must have put it there, but why? Did He always intend for us to lose our imagination and sense of humor (to an extent) when we grow up and start caring more about money, bills and cleaning?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think that's how it was originally designed. In the Garden, before the Fall, Adam and Eve were naked and were not ashamed. Well if you look at little children who have not "grown up" yet, that describes them exactly. They run around the house without a stitch of clothes happy as they can be.

Because of that, I like to think that we will be restored to that child-like innocence that breeds such joy and excitement in heaven. But also here on Earth, I don't think it is completely lost. I think God lets you experience that joy again when you have kids and see how excited they are. And then if you're lucky, even again in yet another different way when you have grandchildren.

So instead of being sad about it, I'm going to look forward to the years ahead when I get to see Avery's joy and wonder and wait for the day when we get to experience the ultimate joy and wonder when all things are restored in Heaven.